The Self Help industry is estimated to be worth $11 billion in the United States, according to according marketing expert and blog master Brandon Gaille, founder of The Blog Millionaire podcast.
An alarming number of people go out and buy self help books with the intent of changing their lives, to no avail, just to have a $30 to $60 book collect dust on a shelf. According to an article by Matthew Jones which be can be found here at Hufftington Post , self help books don’t work.
A few good examples of self help books are Think and Grow Rich, The Secret, How to Win Friends and Influence people, along with countless others. Here in this article, I will give you 7 reasons why self help books are for delusional people.
1. Most people have a negative self image of themselves
Our thoughts and actions are a result of the self image that we have of ourselves. The main reason people procrastinate is because their deepest belief about themselves is in complete contradiction to the new direction that they desire for the lives to go in.
If you grew up thinking that you were a failure because of past mistakes that you repeatedly punished yourself for, chances are pretty good that at the subconsciously level, you still believe you are. You only go after tasks that you’ve done before, only doing things that you know you won’t fail at.
Your upbringing and current environment may have played a role in this self defeating image that you have accepted and self imposed on yourself. The way you see yourself is how you will perform, so if you’ve ever wondered why you cant seem to bring yourself to doing certain things, its because what you want to do is in conflict with who you believe you are and what you truly believe you are capable of.
2. Most people are held back by their fears
The biggest perpetrator to the individual is fear. Fear is a symptom of a negative self image. The cure to defeating fear is to focus on the image of you succeeding. Your thinking is the driving force behind all action, or stagnation. Sometimes, when you are fearful of something, time is unforgiving and you just have go on ahead and do it anyway.
No one likes to fail, not even me, but failure in and of itself is nothing more than feedback to the individual that has made up their mind, and made the choice that they will be successful at what ever their definite goal is.
Focus on the image of you succeeding, and then do it. Fear goes out of the window the moment you take a leap. The power that fear once had over you before taking the leap is gone because you have already taken the leap. Taking this leap will force the mind into gear to focus on finding solutions to survive before either plunging to your death or building something out of nothing in order to land safely, so to speak.
3. Most people don’t know what they want out of life
How many times have you asked someone where they see themselves 10 years from now? All answers vary, but in my experience, the answer is either “doing the samething” “buying a house” “traveling the world” or the most famous answers that I get the most, “I don’t know” or “I’ll get back to you on that”.
None of the above answers are wrong, no matter where you are in life or what age you are, but the problem with not knowing exactly what you want out life in clear vivid detail, is that you’ll be willing to do anything or you’ll find something you “want” to do with no clear definite end in mind. You’ll just be going along with the “motions”.
When you know exactly what you want out of life, you have a clearer image of yourself. You have no fear because more than likely, if you know what you want, you’ve done your research and you know exactly how to get there.
4. Most people have poor thinking habits
Everyone is “realistic” these days. If they can’t see it with their eyes and touch it with their hands, its either impossible or it doesn’t exist. Our current environment plays a big role in how we think because as far as we can see, what we can see is all that there is.
When our thinking is bombarded with all that is going on around us, “suggestions” are thrown at us by our family, colleagues, friends and media. Most suggestions given to us are glanced over as harmless, but unless we are deliberate with the thoughts we entertain on a conscious level, it will be accepted as truth on the subconscious level. When thoughts go unchecked, they take root in our mind until they become apart of who we are, our thoughts, our speech and our actions.
As a people, one of the most neglected day to day chores is taking special care of our mental house cleaning. It all stems from having a poor self image of ourselves, being fearful of our self imposed limitations, and not knowing exactly what we want out of life. When all three of the above are running healthily on all cylinders, our thinking habits are positive and our actions our proactive toward moving toward what we really want out of life.
5. Most people like to escape through procrastination
At the core of procrastination is fear. As discussed in the first point above, a poor self image is the mother of fear. Procrastination is the escape route toward dealing with any task in front of us. It feels good to procrastinate, even I can attest to that, but procrastination only gives you temporary satisfaction and leaves us feeling even more empty and unaccomplished.
When we have a proper self image of ourselves, we become limitless. Fear may have a hold on us temporarily but when we know what we want out of life, we approach and smash through fear with boldness and deliberate action. Taking action plays a trick on our mind, especially when the action is successful. With every successful action that we take, it forges and reinforces proper thinking habits about ourselves and our ability to follow through with continual action “until”.
The proper way to deal with procrastination is to turn everything off and get busy! Action is the down fall of fear and procrastination. When we take action, our mind gets into gear to focus on building on that momentum with the first action, by coming up with more effective ways to capitalize on the results from our first action.
6. Most people don’t have a clear mind
Often I will go out on to my balcony to clear my mind by focusing on other things. Although this has helped on occasion, there have been moments where I still wasn’t able to gain clarity. With so much going on in the world, our jobs, at home and social media, there is no surprise that most people have a full mind, instead of being mindful.
When your mind has so much going on, it makes it impossible for you to receive inspiration and new ideas. If you’re busy stressing about your everyday life, your past mistakes, the latest twitter post on a celebrity scandal, there is no way your mind can focus on what you either need to do, or figuring out what it is that you want to do with your life.
In the book, Clarity by Jamie Smart, the author explains that clarity is the mind’s natural state. When the mind is clear, the mind can do what it was meant to do and that’s to think and find solutions to problems or significant goals that we want to accomplish. If both of your hands are full of pennies and someone is trying to give you a brief case filled with a million dollars, you won’t be able to take hold of the brief case until you first open your hands, and let go of the pennies.
7. Most people play the victim
I grew up believing that my environment and circumstances were responsible for making me who I am. That lie couldn’t be any further from the truth. None of us are products of environment or circumstances. We are either victims or benefactors of our own beliefs that we have accepted to be true of ourselves.
Blaming, instead of accepting our role in our own shaping, leaves us vulnerable to what ever direction the wind blows. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to leave my fate in the hands of another imperfect human being or to circumstances outside of my control.
The moment we accept responsibility for all of the mis-happenings or good things in our lives, whether we initiated the cause or not, we take full control back to redirect our lives on to a path that we deliberately choose. One trait that I admire about the rich and successful, that is different from the poverty mindset, is that they all agree that they are in full control of their lives. They make no excuses by blaming others. They accept responsibility and they make adjustments until they get the desired out come that they want.
8. Most people lack will power
Mental laziness is a condition that people with unfulfilled dreams suffer from. Your being successful has nothing to do with a lack of resources, neither does it stem from not knowing the right people, it comes from all of the above mentioned points in this article.
A poor self image will leave you fearful about taking the next step. Being fearful will diminish your ability to figure out exactly what you want out of life. Not knowing what you want out of life will leave your mind vulnerable to poor thinking habits. Poor thinking habits lead to procrastination, in hopes that you will escape facing the task in front of you. Procrastination will leave your mind paralyzed and full of thoughts that don’t propel you to action. Not taking action will leave you a sitting duck to play the victim role instead of taking action to change your current circumstance.
When all of these above mentioned areas are in check and solidified, will power to take action will almost come effortlessly, in the beginning. The two main driving forces behind will power are desire and definiteness of purpose. When you have the desire to do a thing, you find your purpose. When you find your purpose, you open yourself up to clear skies to soar as high and as far as your vision takes you
Self help books are a gold mine
When one or more of the reasons given above are no longer an obstacle, self help books can completely change your life. I grew up thinking that self help books were for the mentally weak that just wanted to read a bed time story before going to sleep, just to wake up to deal with “real world” again. What I believed couldn’t be any further from the truth.
There are self help books for everything you can possibly think of. From business tips to learning how to declutter your mind, the right self help book can be all you need to take you to the next level in your personal development. Our education is never complete, even when you complete your formal education and are rewarded with a bachelors or a masters degree in your chosen field of expertise.
One of the biggest misconceptions about self help books, is that the book itself is suppose to change you after reading it the first time, without applying what you read and taking action. Self help books are just that, SELF HELP! You are the one that has to help yourself.
Action on your part is integral to the success of the book you are reading. Not all self help books come with instructions on how to apply the explained principals, which is why you have to be very selective about the authors you choose to read from. From my experience, most self help books just encourage you to feel as good as possible, say affirmations and to visualize a successful version of yourself living your dreams. All of this is very important, but none of it will be beneficial without taking action.
Self help books are for action oriented people, and if you can honestly say that you aren’t an action oriented person at this stage, theres a self help book for that, titled The 5 second rule by Mel Robbins.
Self help books are useless if you’re delusional, and by delusional I mean believing that the book itself is going to change you without you having to take a single action. I’m a huge advocate of the law of attraction, but the key word in the law of attraction is ACTION! If you really want something out of life and you want to make an impact, you have to break through all of the negative points mentioned above in this post.
Self help books have a 100% success rate IF you are willing to take the time out to really digest what you are reading, and you are willing to put what you’ve learned to action.
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